i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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