Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
