If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
