at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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