Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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