Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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