he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
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