Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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