i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I think I died a long time ago.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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