Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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