We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
