Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
