Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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