whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
