I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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