She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
MIDGETS
????
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
