is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
