They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
