dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
