Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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