i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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