i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
