I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
