PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
