I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Randomize
