We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
