marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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