Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We need to rekindle our bromance
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
