Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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