This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Randomize
