Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
