I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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