This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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