Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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