Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
