Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
