im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
