hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
