i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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