Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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