I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
