you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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