I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
