Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
