i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
