why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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