So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Randomize
