you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Naked. naked and bneed help.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
