this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
