Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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