after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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